Uttoxeter 28th April 2023
 
                         
Up for it were-
Yup, Sid, Tony, Keithee, Pedro, Bolt, Bill, Nails, Craigee, Digger, Goosey, Brian, Darkside, Turk, Richee and Ken joined us for for a couple of drinks before he buzzed it back home to Cheadle.
 
                                  
Did you know.......
There have been 79 different ways to spell Uttoxeter. This small historic market town was first recorded in the Doomsday Book in 1086, having been established by the Lord Mayer and Earl of Derby. It was here Mary Howitt wrote the famous 1829 poem  'The spider and the fly', which was a poem about the dangers of allowing yourself to get sucked in by flattery. Uttoxeter became famous for it's race course, breweries and as a market town. It became the chosen home for Bartley Gorman a bare Knuckle fighter and King of the Gypsies. It now has a population of 14,000.
 
Well, on 28th April 2023 the population of Hewtuxceeta increased temporarily to 14,015 as a group of ageing northerners descended on this until now, sleepy town. There had been lots of pre-train WhatsApp banter with a race course theme. Such as " don't miss the bus or it's Shanks's pony". "Huge is a non-runner" and "good to see the MANE man Yuppy out today".
At Stoke railway station the barman at Bod must have been a mind reader because when the group arrived he already knew they were off to Youtoxater for beer and curry.
As the train arrived at Yewtockseater Sid was seated arms folded on a bench awaiting his flock. Everyone followed Sid as though he was the Pied Piper of Hamlin (PPH), to the first stop off. A lovely little Alehouse named Night Inn. 
 
 
 
A short walk took the crew to the Horse and Dove where a debate commenced as to whether one of the ales was pronounced 'Butty Batch" or "Butty Bach". The question was posed to the barman who's reply was "it depends where you come from" (no help at all).
Some of the visitors sat inside and the others made the most of the Utehoxheater afternoon sun. Nails and Darkside must have been suffering amnesia as they devoured more pork pie and scotch egg, forgetting that they had already gorged on pork pie in the previous pub. Many thanks go to Sid for providing the pies and scotch eggs. Makes up for not wanting to write up the notes!!
 
The next stop was just across the road to a Bass house; The Vaults.
 
Someone spotted a skittles table game in the back room. A Squarrites Skittles tournament soon commenced. A local lady offered her experience and gave some good advice as to technique and how a player's balls should be swung (she looked like Steve Bruce on a bad day).
 
Bets were soon being placed with the grand total of eight quid for the winner. Turk was seen giving Brian lots of tips as to how to knock over the most skittles. Bad mistake by Turk because Brian beat him in the final. A very philanthropic Brian donated his purse to the kitty. (which one????)
 
 
Another short walk took the boys to a local brewery ( Sid must hold the world record for the shortest distances walked on a pub crawl). Here, at Hewtaxotter Brewing, the lads enjoyed the drinks made on location.
 
 
Cheers
 
Digger
 
 
Thanks to Digger who put these notes together as Sid was reluctant to put pen to paper!! However, despite that, huge thanks must go to Sid for providing the pork pies and scotch eggs in the Horse and Dove which was much appreciated by everyone, and for leading us around the town.
The longest walk of the evening saw the Pied Piper leading his rat arsed followers through a very residential area of Hughtoxteeter to The Indian Spice Tandori and Balti. The wait for the poppadoms was like waiting for Christmas, but eventually they arrived. It appears everyone had an enjoyable curry.
 
Suddenly at 8.50pm Digger jumped up fearful of missing the 9.10pm train, he shot off at breakneck speed taking over Sid's PP of H role, the rest promptly followed.
 
The main group arrived at the Utoxxxshitter train station just as a red light was seen approaching in the distance. Bill was seen strolling over the gantry bridge and several Squarrites shouted encouragement for him to step up the pace "come on Bill, come on Bill, faster, faster". It was just like cheering a horse at the race course. Bill stepped onto the train with seconds to spare.
 
A truly nice day out in Uttoxeter.
 
The selection of ales included a bitter named after Bartley Gorman ( if you were paying attention you will know he was King of the Gypsies who couldn't afford gloves), American IPA and Paddock Porter.  Nails and Darkside tucked into what looked like very tasty pork pies. It was noted here, that Pedro was wearing an unusually plain shirt (flattery will get you no where, see Mary's poem).